so how do i begin...? so you take a look at my person and what do you see? a person who is perfectly happy with themselves. who is calm, collected, and rarely afraid. yet there is a tug of war match between my mind, my heart, and my soul. i have such a huge love of God, and such a passion that i want to pursue Him no matter what the cost, no matter what the penalty. i'm learning new and exciting things about God everyday and yet, i just store it away. do i take it to heart? sometimes i do, but mostly what i'm challenged with to change in my life i put on a mental checklist of stuff to do or promises made to God. the checklist is so big now, and there are so few checkmarks there, it feels as though its all just so shallow. i long for something that has a grip, a moment where God shows up and turns my box inside out, upside down. i've tried that before, it didn't really work. i came in, ready to have and awesome time and get fired up about God just to go home and forget about it. God had other plans, He does that. its like i hit a brick wall, but while in water. so this wall stopped me, but He was there to pick me up and start building me up on a firm foundation. i've known people who are really awesome mostly because they are really close to God, and one of the characteristics that i've noticed is that they have almost like this conditioned spirit in them. they know how to run with the times that God shows up and does something awesome, but they also know how to push through the tough parts and still wholeheartedly pursue God.
that checklist thing...man, its hard to explain. i have this huge pull and desire to worship God with my whole being, not caring what anyone thinks. yet i'm caught in a fear. not just of messing up, or worrying about popularity or something like that, but i also find myself using the excuse that because i'm young and inexperienced, i don't know what to do. it seems like it shouldn't matter, yet that causes the hesitation. so i'm caught between running after God and staying comfortable, and in that indecision, i've become complacent. i'm called to be an evangelist, yet one of the toughest things for me is talking to people about Jesus. i've done it before. but i was always with someone else, they might not have been older, but they had absolutely not a care for what anybody thought about them. now that i'm older, i have had to be in the lead role in that kind of position and yet i'm terrified. i have failed to do what God was prompting me to do...and that really hurts. its almost like a slap in the face, but i'm not the one feeling the sting of the slap, God is. yet, i know that He has forgiven me completely. and, i know He is gently, and continuously, prodding me, testing me. saying "are you ready Jordan, are you ready to trust in me"? and i'm completely blown away.
God i give You all the glory and the honor that i have to offer. You are so glorious, our worship is such a fragrance to You. What is written on my heart? only a cry for You. my soul and spirit connect with Yours. what a thought! You are the most beautiful majesty that never was born, and yet Your heart's desire is to be Your friend. Lord, i long to be a delight in your eyes. give me the courage to speak for You, and to have absolutely no inclination of caring what other people think. give me Your words, allow me to be Your witness, let me love like You loved me. gift in me a heart for the nations. thank you. You're awesome.
that checklist thing...man, its hard to explain. i have this huge pull and desire to worship God with my whole being, not caring what anyone thinks. yet i'm caught in a fear. not just of messing up, or worrying about popularity or something like that, but i also find myself using the excuse that because i'm young and inexperienced, i don't know what to do. it seems like it shouldn't matter, yet that causes the hesitation. so i'm caught between running after God and staying comfortable, and in that indecision, i've become complacent. i'm called to be an evangelist, yet one of the toughest things for me is talking to people about Jesus. i've done it before. but i was always with someone else, they might not have been older, but they had absolutely not a care for what anybody thought about them. now that i'm older, i have had to be in the lead role in that kind of position and yet i'm terrified. i have failed to do what God was prompting me to do...and that really hurts. its almost like a slap in the face, but i'm not the one feeling the sting of the slap, God is. yet, i know that He has forgiven me completely. and, i know He is gently, and continuously, prodding me, testing me. saying "are you ready Jordan, are you ready to trust in me"? and i'm completely blown away.
God i give You all the glory and the honor that i have to offer. You are so glorious, our worship is such a fragrance to You. What is written on my heart? only a cry for You. my soul and spirit connect with Yours. what a thought! You are the most beautiful majesty that never was born, and yet Your heart's desire is to be Your friend. Lord, i long to be a delight in your eyes. give me the courage to speak for You, and to have absolutely no inclination of caring what other people think. give me Your words, allow me to be Your witness, let me love like You loved me. gift in me a heart for the nations. thank you. You're awesome.
So today I have just been impressed upon by the power and awe of God's love for us. But it is more than that, I have realized that yes, God loves us. It shouldn't end there though. And I think it often times does. We should love God back and chase after Him. To be in His presense, to be a lover and friend of God. That is my heartcry.
This video just embraces that concept. Meant to shake this generation, this song by John Mark Mcmillan, is awesome. I love Jesus Culture with Kim Walker sining here and with Chris Quilala on drums. Just watch this, in HD if it allows, and I encourage you to allow this song to become your heartcry.
So my friend and I just recently became Blogger people, and as we are getting used to all that can be done in a blog we both decided that we should do a post on scripture. The Bible is so full of life and so much good stuff, that it is always worth reflecting over it and seeing what God has in it for us.
So we decided to write about a little of the Psalms, mostly because the Psalms is a collection of songs that were used to enter into God's presense. I especially love David's Psalms because his heart for God clearly comes across in how he praises the living God. These Psalms were meant to be a continual, 24/7 prayer to God. Breaking through barriers, crying out to God, and praising His name.
Psalm 103: 1-5
Praise the LORD, oh my soul, and forget not all of his benefits-
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."
Now the beginning in anything is meant to signify what will follow and grab the attention of the person who is going over it. So when it starts with "Praise the LORD, oh m soul", it is a cry from the depths of being that sings it. It signifies the awesome glory of the LORD...now just stop on that in itself. I find when we are going over points such as this, we get so calloused to who God is and what His glory is. The Bible says that in the throne room of God in heaven, seraphim are continually giving glory to God by singing "Holy Holy Holy" forever and ever. God is not a being in a single place and time but a thousand years to him are but a day and day is as a thousand years, as Peter said. He is the Creator, from the smallest flower that breaks through the earth in spring, to the amazing planets that continually rotate around the sun but never crach into each other. God will be glorified, even if we refused, the works of His hands, even the rocks, would cry out in praise to Him. Now how can such a God of that majesty and just plain awesomeness become a boring religious practice of going to Sunday when it is convenient? God is meant not to be pushed aside for times when life is good, but He is a God of indescribable words that ushes and gushes forth from the universe He created. Yet He will provide when everything is lost and you are despised by those you thought loved you. God cannot stop loving you. So when the Psalmnist says "all my inmost being praise His holy name", it is a heartcry to find joy in the God who connects with His people. It is absolute joy, security and peace in rejoicing to the one whose worthiness outstrips anything we can give, and yet He finds in it a sweet fragrance that engulfs His nostrils. He is our Abba Father, and His name is holy.
The Psalmnist then adds "and forget not all of his benefits". Saying do not forget the great promises which God has given, given as a command to take possession of what is promised and claim it.
Now God is a being of extraodinary grace with compassion. The many aspects of God seem to not make sense; this awesome love that He presents to those who clearly do not deserve it is not logically founded. But God is awesome like that. He takes what seems illogical and unfounded and presents it to us. It makes those who are perceived to have knowledge fools. God is a god "who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases". Not only does He redeem those with sin, He heals diseases. And not only that, but He heals all your diseases. Some Christians believe hat God doesn't heal today, not that He does not have the power to, but He just doesn't. You point to the Bible and show example after example to them, but they just say that God works differently now than He did then. What? It is a promise of God to heal all your diseases. God never changes, and He cannot break His word. First we must claim the promise He has made to us, and then we must remind Him of what He has promised. By the stripes of Jesus we have been healed, now put your faith in that and beleive.
I love this next part. He "redeems your life from the pit". Now when I see the word pit, an image pops into mind. I see a darkened forest with a completely black hole, that resembles a well, right in the middle of a path. You have fallen in. It's damp, it's muddy, it smells horrible, nothing can be seen. The walls are tall, and enclosing. You're trapped, you're exhausted. You've been trying to climb out, but anything you dig out just caves in with mud. You're irritated and you're scared. It feels as though you'll never get out. Then a hand appears out of nowhere and lifts you out into a bright sunny day. Your savior dusts you off and guides you along the path again. No matter what we've done, no matter what the age, God's love still envelopes us. His grace redeems our worst failures. It is not that we go out and sin, then repent, get a clean slate and then go out and sin again. No.... God's compassion is not meant to be taken advantage of, yet it is apart of God's nature to have compassion on us. He "crowns you with love and compassion". God's wants to bestow His love upon you, He thinks that much of you.
Now Jesus said to ask anything in His name, and you will receive it. So the Psalmnist hits on this principle when he says that God "satisfies your desires with good things". God wants to bless those who follow Him. God wants to be our friend and we have to desire to be His friend. Our desires, our passions, He wants to grant to us, but He fulfills that with "good things". He knows what will fulfill us and He chooses to give us what will build us up and encourage us. He does not want us to be built up on hype and then just burn out after a period of time. God wants to enstill an endurance that, when fully matured, will be willing to go through any hardship with joy, because that is God's will. It is a foundation for our entire lives. He does not wish to spoil us, but He does wish to be a part of Him. To walk close enough to God, that our desires begin to be what God desires for us. Just as David always asked God about even the small decisions that seemed so clear, because he did not care about fame or fortune. Only about being in the presense of God.
God gives you these promises "so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's". The eagle is one of my favorite animals, fast, elegant, graceful, keen, they are ruely majestic creatures. They have awesome eyesight, yet they have trouble reading books for some reason. An eagle is full of vibrant life, and God wishes us the same.
At the end of the day, it's not for our own benefit that we should be close to God. Our heart should not be self-centered, but God-centered. What is Your will, LORD, for me? That is the question we must ask. We should not be satisfied with the knowledge that God loves us. He does, and that in itself is beyond understanding. But we should strive with everything in us, until we are on our death bed and breathing in the last breath of air that will enter our lungs, to love Him back. To seek, pursue, and become one in whom He delights. I want to be an ornament that God can show off. I want to be the light in the darkness. I want to be the friend and lover of God. And that is what we were created for.
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oh my soul,
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Psalm 103,
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